Konayuki
by Sw33t-Sorrows
Summary: Heroes die, but stories live on. [OneShot] Rated M just to be safe.


**Summary:** Heroes die, but stories live on.

**Note: **The text in italics are the lyrics to a Japanese song entitled, "Konayuki" by the artist Remioromen. I was listening to the song while writing this actually. Well, to be more accurate, I was listening to the Piano Version. If you could, I suggest you listen to the song while reading it, I believe it gives much more meaning. Please enjoy!

**Disclaimer - **I do not own Inuyasha, or the song.

* * *

**Konayuki**

_Sw33t-Sorrows_

Warnings: Rated M for mature themes and angst. There are _no_ lemons.

_As you get older, you begin to realize there's a difference between falling in love and holding a hand, that kisses don't have to mean anything, and promises can be broken just as easily as they were made. Also, sometimes _goodbyes really are forever_. A story of the beautiful things that life may bring us, and the cruel fates that it can also cast upon us._

* * *

"Come in, it's time for dinner._" _It had been several long years since the last battle. They hadn't been fighting demons in quite a while, now.Sango and Miroku were married two years ago, and they already had five children running around in the yard. _Five_. That's right. However, as Kagome looked down at the golden band on her finger, she realized that for the past four years since she married Inuyasha, they hadn't even discussed the idea of having children. "Guys?" She yelled when the others hadn't entered the hut yet. 

Suddenly, people started piling in. Kagome found that she had to force a smile onto her face. "Itadakimasu!" Kagome stared at the five small children as they sat onto the hard wood floor. Inuyasha was supposedly out gathering firewood for tonight's celebration. For Sango was pregnant once again.

"Kagome, are you alright? You've hardly touched your food."

"Oh yes, Sango. I'm fine." Kagome says half-heartedly as she stared out the window of the hut. "Inuyasha's been out for quite a while, do you suppose something happened while he was out there?"

"Inuyasha will be fine. After all, after defeating Naraku a few years back, no human or demon has dared to disturb the peace of our village." Kagome nodded at her best friend's words. The group was famous for defeating the wretched Naraku years ago. Their names were well-known. Everyone across the nation knew about the group of warriors. However, Kagome still wasn't convinced. Something happened, and she could tell it would mess up the life she had fought so hard to create here.

-------

_Konayuki mau kisetsu wa itsumo sure chigai  
Hitogomi ni magirete mo onaji sora miteru no ni  
Kaze ni fukarete nita you ni kogoeru no ni  
_

-------

The celebration went on.

Sango said she was hoping for another girl. Miroku agreed. Inuyasha and Kagome ate in silence. When it was time for sleep, Kagome couldn't hold back the question. "Are you seeing her again?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." He didn't even look at her.

"You don't love me, do you?"

"That's not true. I love you so much." She laughed bitterly at his answer.

"Do you, now? For some reason, those words don't mean much to me anymore." Kagome said quietly before exiting the hut. She knew his secret. This secret would ruin their lives forever, if it hadn't already. She knew why he didn't want children, she knew why he was so hesitant to marry her, she knew why it took him so long to say he loved her. "Because I'm not her." During the past years, Kagome had gotten used to the pain. She no longer shed tears for her broken heart, for those tears were always useless. Sure, it sent her beloved running back to her, but his heart was always somewhere else. "Inuyasha, why am I not enough for you?" Kagome never thought it would turn out like this. She always thought she'd be the happiest woman in the world after Inuyasha chose to stay alive.

She never thought he'd regret it, though.

"Kagome, where are you going?" She heard him from the hut.

"Away from you."

"Why are you being like this?!"

"Why are _you_ being like this?!" She whipped around and stared him in the eye. "Why are you always leaving us behind? Why is it that I'm the one who's always waiting for you? I don't want to wait anymore, Inuyasha. I thought I was done with that."

"Wait? I don't understand."

"And I'm afraid you never will."

"I won't if you don't tell me."

"Then I'll tell you: I love you with every fibre of my being. What about you?"

"I...I love you too."

"Not the way I want you to." She smiled at him. "I'm your wife, but to you, I'm nothing more than the woman you have to get back to before dawn. I know what you're doing when you're not at home." She looked down at the ground, her anger suddenly melted away and was replaced with...sorrow? Kagome hated how she couldn't stay mad at him. She wished she could just gather up the courage to leave him. But her heart wouldn't allow it.

"That's not true, Kagome." He held out a hand as he took a few steps towards her.

"You're lying to me, again."

"I hate it when you accuse me of lying." His eyes hardened as he reached forward to grip her arm. "I hate it when you don't trust me, I hate it when you think you know what I'm thinking about. Kagome, you _don't_ know what I'm thinking, so stop pretending like you do!" She no longer winced or cried when he raised his voice at her. Arguments like these became more frequent as Kagome became more aware of what was happening.

"Then do you dare tell me that you don't love her anymore?"

He didn't say anything.

"Kagome, I-"

"Go back, Inuyasha. I need to be alone." She disappeared into the forest, almost wishing a demon would jump out of the bushes and kill her. Kagome even founding herself wishing they hadn't killed Naraku. Maybe he'd surprise her and come to take her life.

-------

_Boku wa kimi no subete nado shitte wa inai darou  
Soredemo ichi oku nin kara kimi wo mitsuketa yo  
Konkyo wa naikedo honki de omotterunda_

-------

She went back about an hour before dawn.

Kagome shivered when it began to snow. Smiling to herself, she realized she should have left this place for good when she had the chance. Now, she was stuck here. The well had been sealed about two months after they killed Naraku. However, even if she could go back, she probably wouldn't have anyway. Could she really go back to face the family she abandoned years ago? They were never provided with the proper closure, they probably thought she was dead. "Mama, Souta, and Grampa..." All three of them have been mourning over her supposed death, while she was here - married and wishing none of this had never happened.

She longed to have those days back. Early morning, she would slam her hand onto her alarm clock in hopes of shutting it off. Her mother calling her down for breakfast, showers with hot water, their beautiful shrine...running around the front lawn with Souta, and making fun of Grampa's stupid stories about the past. Kagome knew she could never have that back, though. Snapping back into reality, she realized that she was now standing before the door of the hut she left her husband in last night. Looking around, the snow was falling gently, there was no wind or the slightest bit of breeze. It was peaceful, it looked like a dream. "Snow..." The snow looked powdered, in fact. Kagome hadn't seen snow for a very long time. She hadn't seen it since that time Kikyo had pushed her back down the well.

"Kagome," The woman looked up. "You're home." She stepped forward into the arms of her husband. "I'm sorry." She felt him bury his face into her hair and kiss the top of her head. "Forgive me, will you?"

"I always have, haven't I?" For some reason, at those words, Inuyasha felt his heart sink.

-------

_Sasaina ii aimo nakute  
Onaji jikan wo ikite nado ike nai_

_Sunao ni nare nai nara_

_Yorokobi mo kanashimi mo munashii dake_

-------

So what happened years ago that began all of this?

Naraku was dead, to begin with. Kikyo came to call Inuyasha on his promise. "You aren't taking back your word, are you, Inuyasha?" She questioned. "You said you'd come to Hell with me." Kagome wanted to shout, 'Only because he was under your damn spell!' However, she couldn't move from her spot. It seemed as though her feet were planted firmly into the dirt. Kagome felt her eyes water when Kikyo held out her hand, "It's time. Come now."

"Kikyo," Inuyasha took a few steps forward. "I-" He reached for her hand, and firmly took hold of it. "I don't think I can."

"...Why not?" Her face didn't show any hints of surprise or shock. It was still emotionless and stoic.

"Because, I have someone else to protect now." Kagome found herself releasing a breath she didn't know she was holding as her tears found their way down her face. She would have let out a laugh of joy when Inuyasha turned towards her. "Kikyo, I'm sorry. I'm in love with Kagome." Those words made her so happy. Those words changed her life forever.

Those words...were nothing now.

Today, as Kagome stood there in the 'warm' embrace of her husband, she found tears rolling down her face once again. And for what? She, herself, wasn't sure. "You're crying again, why?" She knew he didn't like it when she cried. "Kagome, please." She only snuggled up closer to him, as if he'd slip away at any given moment. "I didn't see her last night, I'm not lying."

"I..."

"Please, Kagome."

-------

_Konayuki nee kokoro made shiroku somerareta nara  
Futari no kodoku wo wake au koto ga dekita no kai_

_Boku wa kimi no kokoro ni mimi wo oshi atete  
Sono koe no suru hou he sutto fukaku made  
Orite yukitai soko de mou ichi do aou  
_

-------

"I believe you." He ran his fingers through her hair, hooked his finger under their chin, lifted it, and looked her in the eye. "Inuyasha..." She said his name like she was going to break. Her shoulders trembled as he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. He hadn't done this in a really long time. "So you went to go see her all those other times?" She said when he pulled away. He didn't answer, only giving her another kiss.

"Don't talk." Pulling her into the hut, Kagome didn't stop him as he slowly undressed her. She knew what this was. Her flow of tears never stopped as he made love to her. "Kagome, will you forgive me?"

"Does it matter, really?"

"To me, yes."

"I don't have an answer for you."

The night seemed to last forever. The feeling of being snuggled up against him was something she would never experience again. His soft kisses, his gentle touch, and the way he'd look into her eyes. Even so, she knew that their marriage was nothing but a lie. Even with the way he acted around her, protected her, she knew that this wasn't true. As a little girl, she dreamed of having that happily ever after. Her mother used to tell her those fairy tales, about Cinderella or Snow White, Sleeping Beauty - about the princes who'd come to rescue them and bring them their happy ending. Kagome had always thought she was the princess, and Inuyasha was her prince. "What happens after the happily ever after, Mama?" Kagome remembered asking. As the tears began to slide down her cheeks once again, the young woman pressed a hand against the cheek of her beloved. She lay there next to him, giving him a silent farewell.

For she realized she never got her happily ever after.

-------

_Wakari aitai nante_

_Uwabe wo nadete itano wa boku no hou  
Kimi no kajikanda te mo nigirishimeru  
Koto dakede tsunagatteta no ni_

_Konayuki nee eien wo mae ni amari ni moroku  
Zara tsuku asufaruto no ue shimi ni natte yuku yo_

-------

Today was the day.

Miroku and Sango were nowhere to be seen. "Where are they?"

"They've had enough, I suppose." She said to him, not daring to look up.

"Enough?"

"Of this." She laughed bitterly. "Of us. Of everything." Why did it have to end this way? It should have ended years ago. He should have done this years ago. She should have gone back home, she should have begun to move on with her friends back at school. Where would she be today, if he had decided to leave? Would she be happy, with Hojo, perhaps?

"I'm sorry it has to end this way." He spoke, she shook her head.

"Heroes die, but stories live on. There is no end, I'm afraid." Indirectly hinting that her lifelong sorrow would be his fault, Kagome felt a familiar feeling in the pit of her stomach. She was scared for the first time in years. She hadn't felt like this since the last battle. She hadn't felt like this since she thought she would never be able to see him again. "Inuyasha, tell me, do you blame me for showing up?" She asked quietly. "If I wasn't around, would you be happy with her at this very moment? Do you blame me for doing this to you?"

"I did." He's finally stopped lying to her. "I really did. I hated you because you made it so hard for me. I hated you because you reminded me so much of her." Kagome felt like she couldn't breathe. "But I hated you, because I didn't want to accept the fact that I did this to myself. I didn't want to believe that I had fallen in love with two women who could very well be the same person."

"We're not the same,"

"Some aspects."

"I'll never be like her."

"You are her."

"There's a difference, I think you know."

"Yes. I do."

The other woman arrived. It was time for them to leave now. Kagome inwardly cursed herself as she let her weakness show. She was crying once more. Hadn't she promised herself she wouldn't cry anymore? Hadn't she said she was going to be strong? Why wasn't she strong? Why was she so weak? She watched as the two people before her wrapped their arms around each other. It brought back a terrible memory. Kagome recalled the time a couple of years back when this had happened before. Except this time, Inuyasha was willing. This time, she couldn't bring herself to call out his name. This time, he wouldn't care if she was the one dying. This time, he was _going_ to leave.

Kagome hadn't expected it to look so horrible.

The souls from Hell swirled up around them, taking them further and further down. Despite the horrid looking things, Kagome couldn't help but notice the serene looks on both their faces.

"I really did love you Kagome." She heard his voice.

"Just not the way I want you to." She finished, realizing that this was their final goodbye. Suddenly, the wind was gone, the blood-chilling screams faded, and so did they. As Kagome stood alone in the clearing next to the bone-eater's well, she sank to her knees. He really did go through with it. He really did leave her, after years of marriage.

-------

_Konayuki nee toki ni tayori naku kokoro wa yureru  
Soredemo boku wa kimi no koto mamori tsuduketai_

_Konayuki nee kokoro made shiroku somerareta nara  
Futari no kodoku wo tsutsunde sora ni kaesu kara_

-------

She screamed.

Letting out the agony that had built up inside her for so many years, Kagome hugged herself, hoping it would provide her the comfort she needed. It didn't help, though. She couldn't help the trembling of her shoulders, she couldn't help the sobs that escaped her throat. Her tears dripped down her face, as it seemed like her chest was constricting, biting her lip in hopes of desperately trying to stop the sobbing...Kagome could feel her heart shattering. Why hadn't the Gods taken mercy on her? Did they not see how much pain she was in? She was drowning in her own anguish as she fought to breathe.

She only cried harder when it began to snow again.

"Inuyasha!" She called out to him. However, she knew this time he wouldn't come running to her.

"Kagome, will you forgive me?" She recalled his question during that faithful night. That night when he gave himself to her, one last time.

"I always have, haven't I?" She remembered her answer to the same question a few days before, when they got into that heated argument. However, Kagome found herself lost. How would she forgive a man she would never see, ever again? How could she forgive a man who left her for another woman? Kagome's sobs slowed as she opened her eyes. Everything was covered in a thick, white blanket of powdered snow.

How could she forgive _herself_? For holding him back...she was the one who held him back all these years. She was the one who has caused him sadness, for keeping him here. Kagome - she was the other woman. Inuyasha and Kikyo had always belonged together. They were the ones who fell in love, Kagome came second. Kikyo's love for Inuyasha had never ceased. Kikyo was the one who tried to purify Inuyasha's heart - her job was only cut short when she died. Kagome had brought this upon herself.

She looked up into the sky.

Kagome could see those individual flakes of ice gently falling down on her. Closing her eyes, she could feel them tickling her face as they brushed past her. The feeling reminded her of his claws, gently touching her cheeks, her neck, her arms...

They say when a person dies, you can still feel their presence.

-------

_I don't know anything about you, do I?_

-------

Kagome's heart twisted when she couldn't feel it. Keeping her eyes closed, she whispered the words she longed to tell him. It was filled with all the feelings she held for him, which was stronger than any force in the world. Her hot tears still rolling down her cheeks, she couldn't feel, her whole body was numb - whether it be from the cold, or the pain, she didn't want to find out. She let her entire being get lost into the feeling of the snow fall. Wishing he were here with her, holding her in his arms. Had she done the right thing in letting him go? As soon as those words rolled off her tongue, Kagome felt her world come crashing down. "Goodbye, Inuyasha."

It was over.

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**Author's Notes:** GAH. That was so horrible. I didn't think it'd turn out so bad. I might think about rewriting this story all together. I'm still working on the next chapter of _The Joke's On You_, I just needed to let some thoughts out. Besides, I haven't written a one-shot in ages. I hope you enjoyed this little random story. Hopefully it wasn't too sad for any of you. Hopefully I didn't confuse you too much either. If I did, my apologies. Thank you to all my readers, and if you don't mind, **please, _please_ review**? Thank you so much. 

_Sw33t-Sorrows._


End file.
